Freaking myself out over here folks!


My surgery was nearly 12 weeks ago, okay…about 10. Things have been awesome. My incision is turning into a nice little scar, my hair is growing back, I’m off all pain meds…then…BAM I start getting headaches again.

I ignored them at first. I mean, what’s a little pounding at the temples?

Then I remembered that damn mass that’s still in my brain.

Yes folks, I have more than Chiari Malformation, I also have a 1 cm Pineal Mass. As far as anybody is concerned it’s just a benign cyst chilling near the Pineal Gland. I honestly didn’t give it a second thought. I can live with a tiny cyst on the brain. I mean it has been there for who knows how long.

Then I started getting the headaches and began to read up on the pineal gland and the cysts. Well, as it turns out…my cyst is a rare cyst.

Now, how is that possible since no tests have been done on it and it’s buried in my brain somewhere? Simply because of the size. Sure 1 cm isn’t that big, but when it comes to brain cysts apparently it is. For Pineal cysts .50 cm < are asymptomatic, “normal” cysts. (I don’t find a growth on the brain normal…at all.) and .50 cm > can be symptomatic and is rare.

F*cking awesome.

They can cause headaches, vision problems, csf blockage (which the surgery JUST fixed), vertigo, seizures, loss of consciousness, hydrocephalus which is caused by the cyst compressing the cerebral aqueduct, a fluid-filled passage within the brain that is near the area of the pineal gland, nausea and vomiting,
light sensitivity, lack of muscle coordination, lethargy, sleep problems, coma

The large majority of pineal gland cysts do not enlarge much if at all. However, some enlarge over time slowly.

Although a true pineal cyst is benign and usually harmless, because they can mimic a tumor, they often need to be distinguished from other cystic tumors which can occur in the region of the pineal gland.

This all confuses me. Was my cyst always 1 cm? Is it growing? Has all my problems always been from the cyst and not the Chiari? Or is it a combination of the both?

I know that a lot of docs don’t worry much about pineal cysts, but I do. I am worried about this little bugger. This…this…squatter. Yeah, that’s what it is. An unwelcomed squatter that is taking up residence in my damned brain.

I don’t want to go through surgery again. (Would surgery even be possible for where it’s located?) I don’t want to go through chemo or radiation.

Not to mention the bills. Dear, sweet, Jesus the bills. I’m still wincing from all the bills that have been coming in. If I would have to go through something else, how the HELL are we going to afford that???? Seriously. How???? I definitely can’t afford to take off work again. No way.

I suppose it may be time to give the good Dr. Friedlander a call and schedule another appointment.

Damnit. I hate being a worrier.

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