As this surgery gets closer new fears begin to creep into my mind.
Some of them logical, most of them not.
This newest one though, yeah, it has me thinking.
Obviously I love writing. I do it whenever I can. Some nights I stay up till the crack of dawn just writing. I enjoy weaving a story together from my imagination. So what is the newest paranoia?
What is the creativity disappears? What if my burning passion for writing and story- telling vanishes with the migraines? I don’t want to lose my passion. I honestly love writing. It is such a great stress reliever not to mention I’m good at it.
I know this is probably a ridiculous fear considering the good doctor won’t even have his hands on my brain, just the skull. Still, I can’t help but worry. As much as I love my job, it’s not my passion. (I like they word, can you tell?) I honestly don’t have a burning desire to be a secretary forever. Shocking right?
I suppose everything that I’ve been afraid of since finding out about needing surgery are coming out now. I mean the big day is only 10 days away. I’m almost into single digits. Another scarier thought, what if I don’t make it off the OR table? What if that’s the end of the line for me? I know it’s highly unlikely, but what if?
I’m making myself depressed now.