Being an adult and getting surgery is no easy feat. It’s not just go to the hospital and get sliced into.
You actually have things you have to do before hand.
A lot of things.
Well, today I got a message on my MyHealth saying that I had a message. I go to it and it’s about my pre-op appointment.
Which is April 5 at 10:45.
I watch the video on anesthesia, and realize that I still have to call workpartners.
Ah, yes, setting up short-term disability and FMLA. (If you have never had to deal with or read about FMLA, it’s what helps protect your job if you have to take time off. I’ll be off work 4-8 weeks. And while I know my boss lady wouldn’t just replace me and what not…it’s always good to have that safety net.)
This is the first time I’ve had to deal with all of this. The last surgery I had was when I was 8 or 9 and it was a simple tonsillectomy. Well, almost 20 years later and now it’s brain surgery. Being that I’m the adult now, I have to deal with it. I have to set up the appointments, I have to schedule the appointments, actually talk with the doctor and nurses…pretty much…I have to be the adult.
Sometimes I don’t want to be though. Sometimes I really just want to curl up and be 8 again. Not worry about it, let someone else deal with it and just not deal with it.
Yes, I’m still nervous and somewhat scared. I know it’s a minimally invasive procedure, but once again, IT’S BRAIN SURGERY. Do you remember teasing friends about something and saying, “It’s not like it’s brain surgery or anything.” Now…it is. So, pppppppffffffftttttttt!
Last night I went to bed fairly early. Around 10, when we put the boys to bed. The man came up later after he was done relaxing and I was already asleep having some weird dream. He tried holding my hand, I of course started freaking out thinking it was part of my dream, I think I realized it was him after a minute and let him hold my hand. He hugged me, said he loved me and kissed my hand. Despite his facade as a tough Marine and not being nervous or scared, I think he is. Right now he’s being strong. I believe mainly for me since I’m scared shitless. He’s being the rock. He’s being Greg. And I’m grateful for it. Without him being the voice of reason, I’m pretty sure right now I’d be a blithering fool, rocking back and forth in a corner. Even though I know Dr. Freidlander is the best at what he does, the residents are all amazing and know what they’re doing and UPMC has some of the best nurses around…(aside from Carol at AGH of course) I can’t help but be scared.The man has been amazing since I found out about all of this. Very calm and collected…at least in front of me.
I’m also glad that mom will be there. She is moving in with us for a few weeks to help out around here and with the kids while I recover. Which is amazing. I couldn’t ask for a better momma. I know it’s going to be hard for her; working, helping to take care of me and the kids.
I’m exhausted already.