The silent treatment

You remember being little and giving your parents the silent treatment right? You’d be so mad at them you just shut down and stop talking or you just feel like pissing them off.

When do you outgrow it? When do you say, enough of the silent treatment? Or do you carry it on to your adult life?

If you do carry it on, how do your friends or significant other think of spending hours, day or weeks of you not talking?

The silent treatment is a manipulative tool. It’s usually the more passive person in a relationship who uses it. It can be a form of punishment against the other person. Using this method allows the passive partner to have minimal repercussions while their spouse goes insane trying to figure out how to make them happy again or to at least get them to utter a word.

The passive person could remain silent for hours, days, weeks or even months while their more assertive and aggressive partner grovels, apologizes and pleads for forgiveness for something they don’t even know they did. This is a form of  mental abuse I believe. By remaining silent you’re depriving your partner of much need communication and friendship.

It can be cruel treatment and frustrating. You have no idea why your partner is mad, or you do, and it’s driving you insane trying to apologize and make things better. Eventually, you are exasperated and want to give up. If you or your partner does the silent treatment enough your relationship is going to break down. It could break down to the point of no return. You may do such irreparable damage that your partner, or you, seeks a divorce.

This is one reason communication is so important. Trust me, I know. I’ve been guilty of giving the silent treatment on an occasion or two.  It makes for increased tension and uneasiness in the home. Which does affect everyone, even the kids and pets. Don’t let your relationship fall through the cracks because you’re to scared to speak up, to mad or frustrated. If something is wrong your partner needs to know. Don’t make them beg you, plead and apologize just to get you to talk. Open up to them. If you are in a relationship where you can’t talk or are afraid to talk, you need to seek professional help. If one of you refuses to accept that help it could be time to move on, as hard as it would be, from that relationship. Failure to communicate will lead to resentment, hate and distaste for the other person. Don’t let things get to that point.

Remember, don’t give the silent treatment. Open your mouth and use your vocal cords! Communication is key!


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