Separate bed…rooms

A new and relatively terrifying trend with married folks, not Greg and I, is to have not only separate beds but separate rooms.

Have we gone back to the 50’s? I cant even say the 50’s…they at least shared a room.

I couldn’t imagine having to sleep in my bed alone every night. One of the great things about being married is having that person to cuddle and snuggle with every night.

I read in an article that most of the solo sleepers claimed it was for better sleep. I’ve shared a bed with Greg for 3 years now and he hasn’t disrupted my sleep. Well, not much. I still wouldn’t want him to go to another room and bed so I could sleep better It’s comforting and reassuring to know that he is right there next to me.

So, why is sharing a room and a bed so important? The intimacy for one. That’s right, sharing a bed can result in more sex. And more sex makes people happy. If you’re not in the same bed that eliminates some of the intimacy and opportunities to have sex. There’s nothing better than waking up and doing the horizontal mambo at 3 am just because you feel like it.

Another reason is emergencies. What happens if you end up having a heart attack? Who will know until the following morning when it’s too late? If you sleep with your partner they could get you help faster.

And then you have the co-sleepers. Not co-sleeping with your partner but with the kids. Could having the kids in bed with you be ruining your relationship? Occasionally is fine. Go for it, but when it’s a night after night thing, that’s when it begins to affect the privacy and intimacy of the bedroom. When do you have time for your spouse if you have a kid or two between you? When do you have time to cuddle and kiss when there are three kids piled in your bed?

But, for those who do not share a bedroom, is there a deeper reason than sleep? Could it be that it is the first step toward divorce?Is there a hidden resentment that drives you out of the marital bed and into your own?

I don’t find disrupted sleep as a logical reason to not share a bed with your spouse. If your spouse is turning into someone you can’t stand, you view them as more of a roommate now instead of a husband or wife or you’re just not in love with them anymore it’s time to do something about it. You need to figure out why you’re feeling like this and what can be done to rectify the problem. Is it something that counseling will help? Or is it something that taking that big step to divorce will fix.



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