This is something that completely baffles me. The concept of an open marriage is a bit ridiculous.
Why get married if you want to sleep with other people? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of marriage?
I was browsing through blogs earlier and one caught my eye. Not in a good way. The name of the blog was “open marriage blog”. They couldn’t possibly mean having an open marriage…could they? Why would someone want that?
So curiosity got the best of me and I read it. Some of it. I couldn’t help but laugh. The person who wrote the blog was confused why the marriage failed and they were seeking a divorce.
The answer is simple. They brought others into the marriage that didn’t belong there. He shared an aspect of marriage, intimacy and love, with someone he didn’t marry. He brought a stranger into the marital bed. (I didn’t read far enough in to see if she did as well or not.) He often refered to girlfriends, how he was sexually frustrated, he was lonely and what not so that made having sex outside of the marital bed was okay according to him.
Sorry, not okay. Not okay at all. No matter how much one person may say that having an “open” marriage is fine, they’re lying. Who wants to think about or know that the person who vowed to love them for the rest of their lives is out having carnal relations with someone else?
From what I gathered from this persons blog, the wife was the one who grew uncomfortable with the arrangement when he became “infatuated with and in love with” another woman. He kept placing blame on his wife. She didn’t do this, wouldn’t do that, didn’t like the “girlfriend”. Well, who can blame her?
Should she have agreed to an open marriage in the first place? No. Of course not, but what woman wouldn’t be hurt and resentful when her husband falls in love with another woman ?
For some couples it may work out for them. When it’s no strings attached and no emotions. But how long can they really keep it up? How many people will it take them meeting and sleeping with before someone does develop feelings for the other person?
All in all, open marriage don’t work. Eventually the little bubble of happiness they think they have will crumble down around them. Feelings, emotions, love and hate get in the way. Not to mention when you did say your vows, you said them to each other, not every other person in the world.
If you can’t handle the fact that when you get married you swore yourself to one person for the rest of your lie, perhaps you should reconsider being married or getting married.