The glamorous life of an almost writer


I’m an almost writer. Not published and not quiet known in the blogosphere just yet.

The life of a non-famous writer or an almost writer is not glamorous at all. At least not for us average writers. The ones who are still working on getting published, finishing our novels or waiting for that big break.

This is inspired after a few drinks and staring at the computer for about an hour before giving in to chopped.

When you think of a writer what do you think of?

Do you imagine a middle-aged man sitting behind a typewriter with a bottle of Jack and a cigar?

There may be a few of those out there, but not the average writer.

Do you imagine a young man sitting behind a desk top with a bottle of Jack doing shots every ten minutes until “the idea” hits him?

There may be a few of those, but not the average writer.

Do you imagine a beautiful woman sitting behind a desk with sexy glasses on and a glass of wine staring out a large picture glass window from her mansion?

There may be a few of those, but not the average writer.

The average writer is the mom down the street. The guy who’s tending bar at the dive across town. Or even your 9th grade English teacher. They could be anyone.

I’m an almost writer. I have the manuscripts, the ones that aren’t quiet completed yet and the ones that are just stored somewhere for a rainy day.

I don’t drink often, only when the occasion calls for it. I’ve had writers block for two weeks and the occasion is calling for it.

Am I sitting with a bottle of Jack, a cigar or a glass of wine? Nah. I’m sitting on my couch, with my netbook, a bottle of Seagrams waiting for my brain to either pass out or just go TA DA! So far it’s a big ol’ nothing. Not even sleeping. It’s just sitting in my cranial cavity doing what it seems to do best, absolutely nothing. It’s not thinking, it’s not writing,  I’m beginning to wonder if my brain is comatose.

Writers block affects the best of us. It has hounded me for weeks and my last resort is a bit of the bubbly beverage to get things flowing. It’s not working. I don’t know where else to get the inspiration from.

This blows.

My usual writing is with a cup of hot tea and my couch. I don’t sit at a desk, I don’t seclude myself in darkness and just write. I don’t have that luxury. I have kids. I also don’t like being secluded in darkness.

You would be surprised how many writers actually do have kids, jobs and pets. Most of us do.

Some of you may be saying, “But Heather, you’re not published. How can you call yourself a writer?”

Well my friend let me tell you, I have 3 completed manuscripts under my belt and at least 5 rejections. THAT makes me a writer. Well, an almost writer.

Would I like to be published? Hell yeah. What serious writer wouldn’t? To share my works with the world…amazing.

So our lives. We don’t all get to just sit around all day writing. We have to chase kids, clean, cook, walk dogs, brush cats, bath kids, tuck kids into bed and then we get to write. I’m not drinking just for the writing tonight either. I’ve had a very hard 2 weeks since my writers block kicked in. I’ve been cranky, irritable and my children have been little terrors.

If you want to be a writer, don’t fantasize about this glamorous life. Most published authors don’t even make enough money on their published works to get by. They have to have a job on the side. It’s also not common for a writer’s first or even second (in my case first, second or third) novels to be published. Writing is a craft. An art. And art takes time to perfect. An average novel takes approximately a year or so to write, edit, rewrite, reread, tear apart and completely rewrite again before submission. Which was probably my problem with the first three. I was too eager and did not tear apart and completely rewrite them. I will with one of the three new ones I’m working on.

Yes, I’m a busy beaver. I have two kids to take care of, a husband, a cat and a dog while I juggle my writing. Which is another reason this blog is awesome for me. It is slowly but surely helping with my writing and helping with my writers block.

If this post made no sense, I’m sorry…I have had a few.

So if the kids are in bed and you have a few hours before going anywhere…go have a drink. Relax and enjoy.

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