Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?


This is a two parter.

I’ve been asked these two questions (I’m asked a lot of questions if you haven’t noticed yet.) one is “aren’t you ashamed of not staying home with your kids?” (when I was working) and the other is “aren’t you ashamed of bending to society and being a stay-at-home mom?”

Now, I’ll address the first question first.

I’ve worked since I was 15. I’m used to working and normally I love working.

When I got pregnant I wasn’t allowed to work. I was a high risk pregnancy since it was a multiples pregnancy so that was the first time I hadn’t worked in a long while. When the boys were born I still stayed home with them. Greg was still stationed in D.C. so I was the only one at home during the week and only saw him on the weekends. It was rough, but I liked being home with the kids.

When they turned 2 I decided to go back to work. Greg was honorably discharged and home with us. I started working. I worked for a year and a half. I started off part-time at only 15-20 hours a week and by the last job I had I was working 50-60 hours a week.

Did I feel like less of a mother by providing for my family and working? Absolutely not. It felt good. They depended on me. They needed me. I was supporting my family. I loved it. But, I did miss my boys and my husband. I was working entirely too much at a job that was miserable, unappreciating and horrible.

Seeing as how Greg got his associates degree in April (and now working toward his bachelors) and wants to put it too use, I’m now a stay-at-home mom while he does his thing.

So, was I ashamed of working and not being home 100% of the time? Absolutely not. I give moms who work all the credit in the world. They deserve it. Not only do they care for their families and do all the mom duties, they also provide financially for them. It’s tough doing both and doing both does not make a woman any less of a mother. Whether she works 1o hours a week or 80 hours a week, she’s working and helping to make life better for her family.

My mother had to work 2, sometimes 3 jobs while I was growing up to support my brother and I. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and my Aunt Linda. We may not have had everything in the world, I may not have had the latest fashions, but my mom worked hard. She kept our family together and gave us the most important thing a woman can give her children, love. Yes, she loves us more than I ever understood back then. Now that I have children of my own, I do understand. I understand that if you have to work 3 jobs so that your child has a roof over their head, clothes on their back and supplies for school…that’s what you do. Why? Because the love a mother (or father) has for their child is an endless love. It doesn’t stop a few weeks after they’re born (well it doesn’t for most of us) and our parenting responsibilities don’t end when they turn 18. I still turn to my mother for advice and moral support to this day and I’m turning 26. And you know what, she’s always there for me. No matter how trivial my problem is, she listens to me and helps however she can.

She still works and helps my brother with his son, because she loves us. Like any mother would do…work to better your child’s life.

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