Resident Evil…movies


This is not a review.

This is a rant.

I enjoy the Resident Evil movies. I do. However, the story does not match the games! No, I don’t play them but Greg does.
He’s quite the avid gamer and actually The Great Gaming Crusade that is over on my sidebar…that’s his site. It’s really good. Go read it.

Anyway, I watch him play while I write and I get to know some of the stories. I’m odd, I enjoy watching him play games (such as the Resident Evil games, L.A. Noire, Allen Wake, God of War and a few others that I can’t think of off the top of my head.) I don’t like playing them as much.

Now once I see the games and get to know the stories I would like to see them carried over to the movies. Resident Evil most certainly did not do that! The movies are not like the games. Again, I do like the movies. It’s like reading your favorite book and watching the movie…which is absolutely nothing like the book. You want to sit there and nit pick about everything.

Now, here is where I’m really going to rant.

I’m an old-fashioned zombie girl. I like them slow, dumb and brain eating.  None of the fast, super smart zombie shit. Those aren’t zombies.

Now, I do believe it was Return of the Living Dead, where George A Romero had all the zombies popping up out of the ground. He had a good reason why they were popping up out of the ground…the rain. They burned the zombie bodies which the smoke mixed into the clouds and the rain-soaked up the zombification shit.

Well, the rain falls and hits the cemetery and all those dead bodies just pop right up like a bunch of gophers. That makes sense.

Resident Evil Apocalypse (which is what I’m watching right now…at 4:00 am) does not make sense! The bodies just pop up. No reason…just pop up like angry gophers. I need a  reason why there are bodies popping up out of graves. Not because they feel like it. Dead bodies don’t pop up just because! There has to be a reason.

I also dislike the zombie kids. Come on…they’re kids. Who likes seeing a kid…like that? Perhaps it’s the mom in me who just doesn’t want to see a kid as a brain eating zombie. I say leave the kids alone.

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