Every person thinks that they know what true love is.
Well, in most cases, you don’t.
As a teenager you “fall so totally in love” with that boy/girl you sit next to in history class. Then you do start dating and that first boy/girl is “just, like, totally amazing and you’re like gonna be together forever!” Two weeks later you break up and repeat the cycle a few more times before you graduate high school.
College starts and you’re living the life who needs a relationship?
You’re going along your life when BAM! someone just upends your entire world. It starts off with a date here and there. Then you’re meeting for a cup of tea and doing the walk of shame the next morning. After a year or so you/that person proposes and you plan the wedding. You’re thinking, “Wow, how could I possibly love anyone more than him/her?”
After a year or so your biological clock begins to go off like a bomb. You yearn for little clones running around. The cries of a baby well you with such emotion it just hurts. So, you do the logical thing. You start tracking ovulation and planning the pregnancy (which no matter how much you plan, it’s never going to go how you want it to. But that’s another post.). After a few weeks or months or years later you get pregnant. You watch as week after week your belly beings growing. You can feel your little bean moving around, sommersaulting, kicking and punching your innards. It’s a magical feeling. You are part of quite a miracle, the creation of life. From one tiny egg and one even smaller sperm, a human being is forming and growing inside you uterus.
Then comes D Day. That day you get to meet the little creature who has been making you barf your guts out, kicking you in the ribs and using your bladder as his/her own personal trampoline. You’re going about your day like normal when all of sudden there is a puddle of water on the floor, under you. It looks like you peed yourself, but you didn’t pee. Did you?
No, no my dear, you did not. You’re water broke. For most this is the first stage of labor and your sign to get your ass to the hospital 10 minutes ago. At this point it could be a few minutes to quite a while before the baby is born. From the time my water broke at 11 am right after I got out of the shower, until I delivered the first of my twin boys at 8:05 pm was 8 hours and 55 minutes. 5 Minutes after Brett was born and screaming his little lungs out, Eli was in the world. He didn’t cry. Which is every womans nightmare. Delivering a baby and not hearing that first cry. After sucking his lungs I heard the awaited first cry. It was such a relief.
As the years have gone by, almost 3, I have learned something.
1st. Everything you imagine parenthood to be about, the cute clothes and always sleeping baby are all lies. They wake up every 2-4 hours, scream and cry and poo. Oh boy do they poo. And they don’t stop. Ever.
2. You will never fully sleep again. You will be exhausted all the time and your body will ache like your 109 years old.
3. This is a thankless job. You could go days, weeks or months without hearing a thank you or good job. You will be walked on, yelled at and your hair will turn grey.
But, I have learned something valuable. I have learned what true love is.
I was sitting here just a bit ago and my boys just came up to me, crawled into my lap, kissed me and they both said they love me. My heart swelled and all I could was hold them.
It’s amazing when you just look at your child(ren). They are yours. Your flesh and blood. You created them. You gave birth to them. They depend entirely on you for just about everything. It’s amazing and scary.
I couldn’t imagine life without them.
Now, if you’re someone who is a minor, meaning under the age of 18. You don’t have a good, stable job; you don’t have your own place, car or pay your own bills; if you still whine, moan and complain about how crappy your life is; if you still rely on your mother/father for finacial support…do the world a favor and wait to reproduce. As amazing as it is to be a parent, it is not something to be taken lightly. How do you prevent pregnancy until you are prepared in every way, shape and form? Use birth control and condoms! Or, here’s a grand idea, don’t do it. You don’t have to have sex to have a fulfilling relationship. (This does not apply to marriage. YOU NEED SEX, SEX, SEX, and MORE SEX!!!!) A baby is a HUGE responsibility. And it’s taxing on your mind, body and soul.
And my Eli