Shh…it’s the sex talk

Do you remember the talks as a kid/teenager? The embarrassment of sitting there while your mom (or dad) discussed the birds and the bees with you? Or the uncomfortableness of hearing your parents talk about penises (or is it peni?) and vaginas? I remember. It was the single (well…multiple) most awkward moment(s) of my pathetic teenage years. I hate the books, the pamphlets and just hearing the words penis and vagina coming out of my mother’s mouth. Thank God dad didn’t feel it necessary to give me talks either. That probably would have been even more embarrassing.

I remember sitting there going, “MOOOOMMMMMM!” But I endured and at least like to think I’m more informed on sexual situations because of it.

Did your parents have that talk with you? My mother did. At least once a month from the time I turned 12 until I was 18. I was a very well-informed teenager. I remained a…virgin…until I was almost 20. Oh, yes I did use that word. Virgin.

I knew the consequences that went along with having sex. Pregnancy, STD’s, craziness of the boy just disappearing afterward. I didn’t want that. None of it. I knew it was good to wait and it didn’t hurt that I was a complete dork once I hit the age of 13. (Puberty I still hate you.) Unfortunately not a lot of kids these days know all this. I’ll be starting the sex talk with my boys when they turn 12. Well, maybe Greg will. How do you discuss sex with your son? I’ll have to ask my mom.

So, why am I talking about sex? Why would someone who writes about the life and trials of a housewife need to talk about sex? Well, it’s simple. Sex is important for marriages. Very important actually. Having the emotional connection with your spouse that sex brings is an amazing feeling. It’s something that can bring you even closer to your spouse than just talking can.

15-20% of married couples have sex NO MORE THAN 10 times per year. PER YEAR!  Experts consider this a sexless marriage. How can you be married to somebody and not want to be intimate? There are some people who have legitimate reasons on why they don’t, usually medical. But others, why?

You’ll have that extreme feminist who “doesn’t have to do something just because the man wants it.” So you mean to tell me you would stave off sex because your husband wants it? Don’t you? That doesn’t mean every time your husband wants it you have to give it up. There are times when you just really don’t want to. That’s fine and your husband should respect that. There are also going to be times when you want to but your husband doesn’t want to, again that’s fine, respect him for it. Then there are times to just let him work his magic. Maybe he can get you into the mood.  Same thing goes for you men, if you’re not in the mood and your lady is, just let her work her magic. Let her try. Maybe she can change your mind.

Every couple has their drought. Those periods of absolutely no sex, kissing, hugging or intimacy. Some droughts are a week and some last for years. Don’t let them last for years. Having that closeness with your partner is amazing. Letting them explore your body, appreciate you, love you…it can make a woman feel like a queen.

One of my favorite things is being surprised with a passionate kiss. Sometimes even that kiss can be enough intimacy to let your loved one know that you love them. You’re asking how I like that passionate kiss? Well, let me tell you! I like being surprised when I’m doing something by my man grabbing me around the waist, spinning me around and just kissing me. Nothing makes me melt faster.

The smallest amount of anything is great. When you lose that intimacy, when you can’t stand to touch or be touched by your partner, it’s time to seek professional help or leave the relationship.

It’s not good nor healthy to live in a sexless, loveless marriage. It’s depressing and can leave  a person feeling hopeless, ugly and worthless. The pain of seeing the person you love do nothing but ignore you and make up excuses on why they don’t want to be with you is torture and can create a huge void in that person’s heart and soul.

Don’t let your heart and soul be destroyed. Love one another. Cherish one another.


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