Why is it so hard?

I was asked this the other day.

Why are some relationships so damn hard?

I didn’t have an answer. I sat and thought for a while. Why are some peoples relationships like a freaking roller coaster? Why do they fight? Why don’t they respect each other?

There are a few things I can think of.

One of the first is, they simple aren’t compatible and for whatever reason they stay together. It’s hard to make a relationship last with someone you don’t get along with. If you don’t have anything in common or you run out of things to talk about after the first date, why continue with the relationship? If the person you’re looking at, that you wake up next makes you cringe…here’s some advice, get out. Make life a little more pleasant for everyone and go.

Another thing I could think of, something happened in the relationship that was never forgiven, divulged or forgotten. Holding a grudge against your significant other for whatever reason can cause a rift. Rifts are bad. Don’t hold a grudge. If you were an ass. Admit it. If you’re the one accepting the apology…that’s it. You accepted it you, don’t hold it over their head forever. If you can’t get over it, get out.

I’m not an advocate for divorce. I’m far from it. I honestly believe if you marry someone, you stay together. However; I’m also a realist. I know that not everybody gets a happily every after with the 1st, 2nd or even 3rd person they marry. Sometimes things happen and you just can’t be with that person. Sometimes it’s nobody’s fault and you just really did make a mistake. It happens. Hopefully the split can be amicable and all parties happy. Even though I know that rarely happens.

Yet another thing that contributes to it being hard is, respect. Yes, show your special love bug some love. Respect them and what they do, say or whatever. Make them feel appreciated, say thank you or just snuggle to help make that hard relationship a little less hard. Say “thanks babe!” when your spouse cleans the house, makes dinner, has a hard day at work. Just rub their neck for no reason at all WITHOUT asking for anything in return. Do it to show that you respect what they are doing and are showing them you appreciate them for what they do.

Relationships aren’t easy. You have your good days and bad days. It’s making it through the bad days and sticking together that matters. It’s being able to join forces, put your pride aside and loving each other to get through whatever. And if you can’t with the first person you marry…well keep going. Don’t loose the love. When you feel alone, lost and confused don’t turn to yourself. Turn to your partner. Cry to them. Let them know that even though you try to be strong, sometimes you’re not. Sometimes you need a hug and you need that shoulder.

“The giving of love is an education in itself.” – Elanore Roosevet


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