Kids Vs Parents: Round 1: Napping

There comes a time in every child’s life when they realize what naps are. It is shortly after this that they begin learning new words. Yay! Right?


When that child learns what a nap is and learns the word no, another great battle ensues.

Battle over the nap.

Mommy, who hasn’t showered in 3 days; has bags the size of suitcases under eyes and is becoming delirious with sleep deprivation can’t think straight, wants that nap deserately. Child, who for some unknown reason seems to function on 3 hours of sleep wants to run; play; laugh and carry on. Around 1 pm is when mommy readies herself for this daily scourge. She warms up that bottle of milk and goes to get her most important arsonal, a book.  Yes, choosing the correct bedtime story can make the biggest impact. Not just any book though. THE bedtime book. You know which book it is. The one that lulls your child off to dreamland by page 3. The one that soothes the inner beast. The one that your child just cannot refuse.

Ours is the Littlest Angel.

It’s old. Almost as old as I am. In fact, it IS my book. It’s the book my dear Aunt Linda would read to me when I was a child to get me to sleep. It works. It’s sweet and it makes me cry now that I truly understand it.

There are so many good bedtime books out there. It takes a trying out period and finding the right one to have that book in your possession.

Now, once you have the book and the milk, you need the most important part of nap time. The child.
After some time the child will learn the signs of when you are getting ready to put them down. This is when the battle really begins. They will run, hide, scream, kick and cause you a migraine. It’s inevitable. It’s going to happen.

Now, you have located the child, grabbed the child and have securely tucked him/her under your arm and are hauling them off to the bedroom. 20 minutes; 4 other books and a sippy cup of milk later, you have lost. That’s right, you loose.

The child is jumping on his/her bed, laughing and asking for more stories. You are sitting on the floor in defeat.

Where did you go wrong? Why won’t this child sleep?? Why did you think it’d be so easy to raise a child! You knew that cup of coffee when you were 10 weeks pregnant was a bad idea, now you’re suffering the consequences. Then the big one hits you, “Shit, my mom was right.” But those words shall NEVER be uttered from your lips. Mother will be able to hold it over your head forever. Keep it to yourself.

So, you lost the battle of nap and your child is carrying on like always. This is when you shut the child’s bedroom door, grab their pillow, blanket and curl up on the floor and sleep. The child sees you laying there. Not doing anything and sleeping. What does the child do? Lays down next to you and goes to sleep.

Congratulations you have just won today’s nap battle.


4 thoughts on “Kids Vs Parents: Round 1: Napping

  1. Ohmygod, I fricking hate the Battle of Naptime (or Bedtime). Matty absolutely refuses to go down for a nap/bed. He can be cranky as all hell, rubbing his eyes, laying down on the floor (but only for a few seconds before he gets up and starts running around like a madman again), but he will not go down. He fights like hell. It’s horrible. It drives me up a fricking wall.

    I hope it’s not worse with two. I can just imagine that they’ll just egg each other on and rile themselves up. They’ll always have a partner in crime, so they probably never go down. lol

  2. Oh I’ve done that a few times.

    The worst though was when 1 boy fell asleep, unfortunately the other didn’t. I panicked when I woke up and only one kid was there. Venturing through the house I saw what the booger was up to. It was a few days after Easter last year, he got my peanut butter melt-a-way egg and ate it, stripped down naked, peed on my floor and pulled every dvd and blu-ray out of the cabinet. Oh yeah, and drooled peanut buttery chocolate all over the poor cat. She is so fat and lazy she didn’t move. Just let him drool on her.

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