Okay, how I spent most of my nights the past few nights.
It’s not thrilling honestly.
I sit on my blue side of the office, my little writing haven, staring at my computer screen with a nice, big glass of wine. I turn on some music, Vanilla Ice and attempt to write.
I lead such an exciting life.
So while I drink and listen to Ice Ice Baby I am transported to a time of my youth. I was about 6, maybe 7, and my dad and step-mother had signed me up for twirling. I don’t remember why. Perhaps it was my idea. I somehow doubt that since the sports I ended up playing were softball, soccer, and swimming. Nothing really girly or requiring my hair to be all poofy. But who knows. Okay, so dad would know.
Anyway, every Saturday we (the Mon Valley Superstars) would spend HOURS upon HOURS marching around this dusty, musty, old basement perfecting our routines. We would be lectured. Listen to Mc Hammer, Vanilla Ice, and every other 90′s group that was popular. On the occasion the drum line would provide our music.
Before parade season would start we would be given our “uniforms”. They were body suits our parents had to assemble. And by assemble I mean actually sew all the shit on them. My step-mother would take weeks sewing all those damned sequins to mine and Jaimie’s body suits. And the silver, puffy things itched. Like. Hell!
Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why I turned to sports where I wore simple shit and rolled around in the dirt. I was happy being sweaty and running around. Or swimming. Oh I love swimming.
But that is what happens when I listen to music from the 90′s. I remember the parades. The glow batons. The awful uniforms. The smell of that basement…of Carol’s face. For those who were Superstars you know what I’m talking about. It was always RIGHT there. You know….on her face. Right there. It has been 20 years, but I remember. And she’s the only 60-year-old woman I know that twirled and had bleach blonde hair.
Then I remember MC Hammer. Those parachute pants. Or worse, parachute pants with a vest. The extremely tight spandex that looked like it was going to cut a person in half.
How? Seriously. How was that fashionable? The person who created all that….what was going through their minds when they made those? Were they drunk during the 90′s? Are they in hiding for fear of being taunted for the worst fashion fads ever?
I need to stop listening to Vanilla Ice.